You’re a Dummy…

by Please Tell Me (Kevin)
Words Hurt

Words Hurt

How words can hurt…

This brings me back almost 15 years ago when I innocently told my partner, “That’s stupid!”. He was hurt and upset with me for days. During the following few days he sulked and barely talked to me. I could not figure out what I had said (or done) wrong. I repeatedly asked, but he would not tell me. He would say I should know what I had said. I didn’t. Eventually, he told me I had called him stupid. I was flabbergasted and bewildered. I knew I would never say this, but had I actually said it and not remembered?

Truth was it was a cultural difference. I had said “That’s stupid” and he translated it to “You’re stupid”. He is of Hispanic decent and this is how he “heard” what I said. I explained that in English it really means nothing and it is just a saying. I was talking about the action, not the person. He eventually forgave me, but it did point something out. Words can hurt.

Today he and Logan were in the kitchen and I heard him say “You’re a dummy!” about some silly thing Logan did. Now, I personally would not have taken offense to this, but I decided to take a moment and think about what was just said. Jose and I discussed what he said and I told him I thought we should try not to use such language. No matter how innocent he meant it. I suggested that saying, “You’re silly!” might have been a better use of words. He agreed. Logan is only 4.5 yrs old so probably did not take any offense to what was said but it is never too early to begin watching what we say.

What is said today can have far reaching effects in the future. Now as a parent, I think of these and many other things differently than I might have just a few years ago. It’s an ongoing learning experience for all of us.

This video is very poignant…

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